Jan 22 2009
Elspeth’s first time at playgroup
I can’t give details or names because I don’t have permission but we’ve joined a lovely earthy-crunchy play group and yesterday was Elspeth’s first time there. I really liked it even if my pelvis screamed the whole time. There were padded chairs but such an upright style makes me sit directly on my pubis and that is epicenter of the problem. I think next week I’ll have to go at 11am via Husband Taxi because I’m still in pain today. (I woke up in so much pain tears sprang to my eyes!) I won’t exactly complain when this stupid pubis symphasis nonsense finally decides to GO AWAY. (How long can it take for pity sake?!?! This is getting more then rediculous.)
I wasn’t sure how the wean would take to being plunged into such a new experience at the tender age of three months but suffice it to say, Elspeth had a grand time at playgroup yesterday. (Even if she couldn’t exactly play with anyone.) It would seem that my choice of “Little Owl” for her name was spot on: all that I could see of my little wean was an enormous pair of eyeballs staring at everything in sight!
The ha was cold and I stupidly forgot Elspeth’s coat. I laid it beside her car seat and then forgot to pick it up when I left the house. So I wrapped her like a burrito in a lovely pink crocheted blanket sent by my childhood friend K~~~ back home in Massachusetts. And there she sat on my lap, all eyes!
I know when Elspeth is having a good time because she goes absolutely silent and STARES and does this for quite some time. Ocassionaly she lets out a little coo but other then that, she’s nowhere near as chatty as she is back home. Then once she’s had her fill of staring she freaks out. Turn it off, mom!! I quickly make a little wigwam out of her patchwork quilt and Big Eyeballs soon conks out cold and lies there snoozing away while processing everything she just absorbed.
When I’m around adults I’m loud and chatty ~ I could easily talk the hind legs off a donkey. Get me on the phone and you’re doomed ~ unless you’re bold enough to let me know you have to go. (I don’t mind!) But put me with kids and a sudden and deep stillness enters my soul and all chatter comes to a halt. There’s just something about kids that makes me so relaxed and tranquil. The whole world around me suddenly becomes a blur and the child becomes my focus. It’s almost as if a lovely primal music radiates outward from children and I can’t help but become still so that I can listen to the sacred strains of God’s magnificent creation. A little eternal soul… so perfect in every way… containing so much hope for the future… and yet so dependent on us for direction and counsel. The opportunity for making mistakes is legion and the punishment worse then a millstone about the neck while sinking into the sea.
It’s daunting as much as it is awe-some.
I used to babysit all the time when I was a kid and I loved nothing more then to take the children out on nature walks where we observed the beautiful world around us. Without hardly speaking a word. That’s just the way I am with kids but sadly people do tend to misunderstand. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard, “You don’t like kids!” because I fail to get caught up in conversation with a chatty youngster or I fail to perform in whatever other preconceived way that is expected of adults caught in the eternal glow of a child’s sacred presence. **Shrug** That’s just not me. Sorry. As long as their parents don’t make an issue out of it, the kids soon pick up on my contemplative nature and they are totally cool with it. After all, even little gifts from God need silence now and then.
Hopefully belonging to an alternative playgroup, with its focus on developing security and individuality in children by not riding their backs, will allow me to be my natural self without pressure to perform.
From what I observed around me yesterday I have a feeling everything is going to be wonderful. I already can’t wait to go back and, judging from the size of Elpseth’s eyeballs, I think she won’t mind another visit!
